The Geneva Movement

As I sat there in the movie theater last night, I noticed the whir of the projector. This sound took me back to the days when I was a apprentice movie projectionist.

Yes, you read that right.

I had to apprentice to run a movie projector. I had to do it for 80 hours.

To run a movie projector.

I had to apprentice for 80 hours so I could then take a test and then be LICENSED to run a movie projector.

Yes, you read that right.

Back in the days before Safety Film, movie film was nitrate based and was flammable and a projectionist needed to know stuff about preventing fires in movie theaters. Now that makes sense. You needed to know that you didn't want to throw water on that kind of film because the water would make the nitrates in the film turn into an acid, for example.

Of course, when safety film came in, it didn't burn. Part of my training was to watch Nitrate Film burn. And you know what... it burns and Safety Film doesn't.

Anyway, during my apprenticeship I kept asking what would be on the test. Chuck, the guy that taught me had no idea. Either he had forgotton what to study, or he had taken a union test which passed him as far as the State was concerned.

Anyway, I did my 80 hours, and then I went to a government office and took the test. Here's one of the questions that I got...

Explain the Geneva Movement and how it applies to a motion picture projector.

"What!?"

I never heard Chuck talk about that.

I also needed to know about "keystoning".

"What!?"

I never heard Chuck talk about that either.

I flunked.

I went to the college library in my small town and looked up this stuff and barely got the information that I needed.

Reason #43 growing up in a rural area can SUCK!!!

So I learned what the Geneva Movement was and I can tell you all about keystoning.

Chicks dig that.

Yes, you read that right.

Kurt

Summertime 101

Good Lord, People. I usually try to avoid the common blogging/status temptations of weather, my level of tiredness, or what day of the week it is. But seriously, it's HOT out there. Though I slept in a little (not enough, though) it was still morning when I opened the back door and thought I'd mistakenly (because I was so tired) opened the OVEN door, the waft of heat was so strong. The plants look defeated, the cats are very still, and I have to make cookies, despite the fact that I'm so very sleepy and hot.

And to top it all off, it's THURSDAY.

Yours in sleepy heat,

Jenny

I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)

I don’t know what Meatloaf wouldn’t do…but I know I wouldn’t wait in a line that wraps around a city block for a hot dog.



I'd wrestle and alligator though.

gretch

Sicko

Been down the last few days with a head cold. It makes me just want to eat and sleep. I was supposed to do a show tonight too, but I had to cancel.

I went to bed at 7pm last night, got up at 9pm. Went back to bed at 11:45pm, and got up at 8:30am ish. Later I took a nap at noon until 1:45pm.

I feel like putting the computer down right now and sleeping.

ZZZZ.

Kurt

It's That Time

Have you seen them? They are everywhere now. The 2010 calendars are here and on display almost everywhere you go. Oh, the possibilities.

The choice is obviously very important. It has to be perfect. The layout, the space for notes and appointments, it all has to fit in with your Plans. Literally. Because this choice will make or break your year.

Kitty cats or crossword puzzles? Only you can decide. Just try to identify that spark, that flutter in your chest when you know it's right. I've seen too many people put down The One, thinking they'll be back, and I'm here to tell you, it won't be there. I know it sounds like your entire '10 is riding on this choice. But that's only because it is.

Here's where I'm leaning:

But we're still in the early stages, and I haven't seen one of these with my own eyes. It's risky. If Staples has my '08 choice in a smaller format, then it might beat all other contenders. But will they have that? Probably not. They will have a hundred other options, but none of them exactly right.

I'd better get started.

Jenny

The Universe

Every once in a while I'll hear someone ask, "What do you think the universe wants you to do?"

And I can totally understand that "way" of thinking, but tonight, I think it needs to be said that sometimes you need to tell the universe, "To sit down and shut up."

Kurt

Overheard

Overheard as I was walking out of the an evening showing 500 Days Of Summer at the Arclight Hollywood last night...

Four cougars in matching skinny jeans, platform wedges and low-cut, sheer tunics exit the theater in front of me.

Cougar 1: "It was nice to see a guy get heart broken for once."*
Cougar 2: "Yeah, but did you notice how they still idealized the girl? She was perfect."
Cougar 3: "She wasn't perfect. She was quirky."



Meow,
gretch

*I'm not giving anything away that isn't in the first 3 minutes of the movie, not to worry.

Oh, the Anxiety

I realize I'm a bit of a Luddite. Or at least I lean in that direction. I'm all for modern conveniences, but really once on board, I don't care about the latest developments and apps, or the shiniest new version. I don't. Honestly, like packing the trunk and taking the garbage buckets to the curb, I see it as sort of a guy thing. For instance, I have a TiVo, sure. It's the first one I ever bought, I want to say 7 years ago or so, minimum. And I will keep it until it dies. I'm loyal that way, and lazy, and cheap, and concerned about my carbon footprint. And when it goes, I will try to find the exact same model, series 2, refurbished, or used, or whatever. Because that's how I roll.

So, imagine my consternation when I realized that my li'l workhorse of a flip phone Simply Wouldn't Do Any Longer. I would have been fine running it into the ground, honestly, except for the scourge knows as texting. Call me an old fuddy-duddy, but I resisted this. I don't understand how emails somehow became not fast enough, and calling to speak to someone became passe. I really thought it would fizzle, or rather, hoped I could just get by without it. Let the kids have it, I thought. Big whoop.

Alas, it seems to have caught on in a big way. There are people I know who now only communicate through texting, and I found that there was no way for me to even contemplate going there without a QWERTY keyboard instead of that stupid number pad. So, I bit the bullet and went to the Verizon store today, and lo, a scant $175 later, I have a fancy phone with a keyboard and many features I will never, ever, ever, ever use. I did eschew the touch screen one...it was more than I felt I could take on. I'm still getting used to wiping at a screen on the iPod, thankyouverymuch. Also seems like too much that could go wrong. I'm skeptical of just about all this newfangled technology.

Even the thought of opening up the guide and figuring it all out is a bit...more than I want to deal with, let's say. I'm just sort of waiting for it to ring and hoping I can figure things out from there. In good news, I am gathering up every piece of cell phone related e-crap in this house and depositing it at the Verizon store, where they will either refurbish and sell to use the proceeds to purchase phones for people in battered women shelters, or if it is too old for such a plan, dispose of safely in a way that respects the earth. I guess that's all I can ask for.

Applicable Self-Mocking Cartoon Link.

Yours,
Jenny

Howdy...uh...Neighbor!

While watching The Strangers (by far the scariest first 2/3rds of a movie I’ve seen in a looong time), I was reminded of how lucky I am to live in a crowded apartment building on a busy urban thoroughfare. If I’d been successful in living the American Dream, I would own a secluded home with lots and lots of land…and the likelihood of someone hearing my screams of terror - upon learning crazy masked figures had invaded my home in the dark of night - would be slim to none. But if the same scenario took place tonight, I’d like to think that one of my neighbors would come to my aid. I mean, if someone in the complex was screaming like Liv Tyler I’d, at the very least, turn down the volume on my television to see if the scream was repeated and then send Eric out to investigate. That's just being neighborly. But I realized that there would be some awkwardness when it came time to writing a Thank You note to my savior because I’d have to address it to one of the following:

Anthony Question Mark and Garbage Disposal
The New Guys
Cute Corner Lesbians
Holiday Decoration Guy
Prius and The School Teacher
The Other New Guys
Used To Be Carrie
I Hate Your Dogs (AKA Hot Australian Dude With Those Nasty Italian Greyhounds)
Victoria and Pickles
Loud Plasma
Creepy Porn Guy
Starts With An "A"
Laundry Guy
Brown Matte Finish Nissan
Broom Closet Photographer

I guess I could always just put the apartment number.

I have to wonder what they call me.

Probably “Walks Lightly” or “Always Holds the Door” or in the case of Creepy Porn Guy “The Chick Whose Hair I Collect Out Of The Dumpster.”

gretch

Mr. Hughes

Truly, it's all being said, and better than I could. My husband and I went to see Planes, Trains and Automobiles for our very first date. For the people in our age range, John Hughes helped define the world we lived in, and provided a large percentage of the dialog in our daily lives. Here are just a few examples, from just one of his movies:

"Oh, you just watch your language, Mr. Dirty Mouth."

"Fresh breath is a priority in my life."

"Chug-a-lug, Pooh-bear!"

"My clean close shave?"

"Donger's here for five hours, and he's got somebody. I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease."

"Any halfway decent girl can rob me - blind! Because I'm too torked up to say no."

"Not many girls in contemporary American society today would give their underwear to help a geek like me."

"You know, I'm getting input here that I'm reading as relatively hostile."

"Why do you think you're a dork? I don't think you're a dork. I don't think Mom thinks you're a dork."

"Her monthly bill came early."

"Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We're safe as kittens."

And, the most satisfying ending, possibly in movie history:

Samantha: Thanks for getting my undies back.
Jake: Thanks for coming over.
Samantha: Thanks for coming to get me.
Jake: Happy Birthday, Samantha. Make a wish.
Samantha: It already came true.

Take a Hike

So there were hikers that were doing some recreational hiking in whatever one of those countries is that border Iran, and they wandered into Iran and now they are in prison on suspicion of being spies.

People, why are you hiking there in the first place? You can't go on a recreational hike at Yellowstone?

Maybe I am not extreme enough to hike near a warzone, but I think its crazy. Of course I hope that they are released soon and all is forgotten

But come on. It's a lot like walking next to a nuclear reactor without a lead suit. Don't ya think?

I'm sure this is what happened... "I've got a great idea... let's us fly to the middle east, one of those countries next to Iran... and go hiking!!!"

My reaction would have been...

"No."

How about Lego Land instead.

Kurt

Mr. Williams!

Mr. Williams! Mr. Williams!



Gretchen Enders, I’m with the Big Hollywood Blog.
It’s a small independent blog…but very well respected.
Mr. Williams -- can I call you Robin?



I’m going to take your silence as a “yes.”

Robin, I’m interested in your opinion of the new up-and-coming stand-up comedians currently making a big splash on the Hollywood scene. How do you think they would fare if they were, say, thrown back in time and had to perform under the rigorous conditions you and your contemporaries faced on a nightly basis. Before there were movie and television contracts, when you did it just for the pure love of comedy?



No comment? I understand.
Changing gears…what was Josh Charles like on the set of Dead Poet’s Society?
Robin?



Mr. Williams?



What’s with the silent treatment? It’s rude, not to mention childish and I don’t appreciate it in the slightest. Plus, those glasses look stupid on you. There, I said what everyone is thinking. And another thing—

Psst, Enders! That’s Bono, NOT Robin Williams.

Oh.

Uh.

Alrighty then.

Hmm, makes me think…I’ve never seen those two in the same room together.