Handle With Caution

You know what scares me?

I mean besides monsters and eyeballs.

Raw chicken.

It scares the living bejeebus out of me.



Raw chicken is covered in the most toxic poison known to humans: salmonella. That stuff will kill you dead if it so much as stays on your hand for more than 8 seconds. The only way to protect yourself against salmonella is to run your hands under scalding hot water after every encounter with the cooking implements used in cooking, an average of 13 times a minute.

Here are some facts you may not know about salmonella (just take my word for it):

- Salmonella can live in temperatures between 34 and 800 degrees.

- Carnivorous dinosaurs were killed off by eating their buddies without first properly cooking them. Salmonella has been around that long. Modern day chickens are descendants of dinosaurs, look it up. Herbivorous dinosaurs were the ones killed off by the meteor thing.

- If left out for more than five minutes, raw chicken will produce airborne salmonella that can travel up to 43 miles.


If you guessed that I’m in the mood for chicken tonight then you are the big winner. I just have to pick up my hazmat suit from the cleaners which just so happens to be across the street from Gelsons…that sounds like kismet to me.

Happy cooking!
Gretch