Apple Unveils the WHAT?

Yes. It's an iPad. I was going to let it go, but it's already catching on like wildfire across the facebook and other tweety platforms. Yes, women refer to non-tampon-related feminine protection products as "pads" and I'm sorry to say that Apple felt it was still okay to call their revolutionary new product the iPad. I think I get it. iPOD/iPAD. Sounds like a trend-based decision. I'm sure they thought that these comments would be short-lived, or that people would behave like adults. They were wrong on both counts, iFear.

Jenny

My People My People

Several years ago on a spring morning I was in a car heading toward Pasadena. My friend Mark and I were going to a Star Trek convention or a Con as people like to say.

We were not dressed up at all and we have never dressed up and gone to a Con. Anyway, we were going because we wanted to see what was in the Dealer's Room. I wanted to see if I could get a good price on a Tricorder, or even if I could find one as they were hard to find. I always lamented not getting one at the Con in New York back in '94.

Sure, we were going to see some of the guests too, but most of the guests were going to be people from Next Gen which is fine, I watched the show but classic Trek is still the best. As a friend of mine says, "The older Star Trek is, the better it is."

So, Mark and I were approaching the Pasadena Convention Center and we could see them.

All of the nerds.

All of these people dressed up like Klingons and what have you. Nerds. Star Trek nerds.

That was when my friend Mark muttered the line, "Oh, my people, my people."

I am of that tribe, yes, it is true, but I don't have that, I want to dress up in public gene. I completely understand where they come from, and I empathize with them.

Oh, I didn't tell you that since I drank an unusual amount of Diet Pepsi last night I was up until two in the morning looking for patterns for Classic Trek tunics and landing party jackets.

My People My People.

Kurt

Uh, what are you waiting for?

Someone needs to write a movie for these three hilariously brilliant women:






I’m thinking something along the lines of Tom Stoppard’s “Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead,” but with Macbeth’s witches…and set it in modern day Texas.

Someone smarter and funnier than me better get to work on it. Please. Go. Do it.

Thanks,
gretch

BTW

You can pick up one of these engines from NASA for the absolute low price of FREE! That's right, NASA is giving away old space shuttle engines if you come and pick it up.

If I had a pickup I'd go and get one and put it in my backyard, or put it in my garage and strap it on to my Honda so I can pass those guys in their BMW's. Kind of like that rocket car scene from Hooper.

I'm amazed people aren't snatching those things up. How big can they be? Like an eighth of the size of a house? Wouldn't you love one of them for just a conversation piece?

And by the way, how about the way NBC is handling that whole Tonight Show thing?

Crazy!

Kurt

Spider Man

Spider Man
Spider Man
The movie's not in the can

Will it be made, not this year
Not with Tobey or even Adam Grenier

Don't look, there won't be a Spider Man

Is it wrong, listen bud, Sony Pictures got a dud
They want the movie next year
Forget it Sam Raimi's left it here

Don't look, there won't be a Spider Man

At the theaters where you have a good time
You can see Iron Man II make its box office climb

Spider Man
Spider Man

Sony wanted it for next year
Sam Raimi said two more years
Sony said get out of here

Good bye, Kirsten and Tobey
Next stop, you'll be on TV

There goes Spider Man!!

Kurt

01/11/10,

In honor of today's palindromic date, a link to this piece of weird genius....

Jenny

NBC @ 10PM

So it's official, Jay Leno is leaving the 10pm slot on NBC. And, I understand that a slew of shows have been greenlit to fill the void.

One of the shows that will try out is an updated version of The Rockford Files. This show is being produced by Steve Carell and I have a word of encouragement.... and caution.

Great idea and don't screw it up.

Please don't make another Wild Wild West.

Kurt

Adventures on the 704

Oh great, Gretchen's talking about how much she likes taking the bus again. I know, I know, but maybe there's someone out there who I haven't told. So here goes. I take the bus to work when I can (i.e. when it's convenient for me), maybe once or twice a week. Ninety percent of the time it's heaven. I get tons of time to read, I get a credit at work for being a part-time clean commuter and it gives me that warm, tingly feeling of liberal superiority because I am single-handedly saving the planet.

Can you guess what the remaining unpleasant ten percent is made up of?

It’s not the tardiness of the express chariot (come on, it’s LA, everything/everyone is at least 15 minutes late). It’s not drunken, urine-soaked madmen. It’s cell phones. Let me clarify, because often I’m accused of disliking children and dogs when in reality its certain parents and dog-owners I loathe. Similarly, it’s not the cell phones’ fault, it’s their operators. Number one complaint about riding the bus…a-holes on their cell phones.

Last night it was this one…


It was amazing to me, and those around me, how unnecessarily loud she was talking on her phone. Is the guy next to her feigning sleep or is he desperately trying to stifle his rage at having such a horrible creature sit down next to him?

That book she has on her lap, it’s Glenn Beck’s “Arguing With Idiots.” I can’t imagine she was reading it to be ironic. I don’t even have proof that she can read, because she was jawing on her phone the whole time. Here are just a couple of the highlights I was able to catch even though my iPod was turned up to eleven. I ask that you please read the following aloud as if you were talking over a leaf-blower in order to get the desired effect:

“You saying ‘who cares’ when I tell you something doesn't make me feel good.” I suspect that whoever was on the other end of the phone was definitely on the right track.

“The good news is that rotisserie chickens are only like five bucks at Ralphs.” I have nothing whatsoever against rotisserie chickens. I just wanted to see if I could spell "rotisserie" without the aid of spell check. I couldn't.

“I'm just going to tell her that we need to mix it up and hire an Asian.” She and her phone companion were plotting to oust their coworker, Cindy. I have to side with Cindy, I mean she's worked with these a-holes for three years.

I am now committed to documenting these creatures, in the new series…

ADVENTURES ON THE 704!!

Happy New Year,
gretch