Proof

Lately, when Kurt and I tell people of the child we had some 17 years ago, we get looks of disbelief and incredulity. It's hurtful. I mean, who could possibly joke about having a child? That's just sick, people. You may have never met her, but let me assure you, she's very real (and I have the c-section scar to prove it). But if that's not enough proof for you, here you go...our daughter Felicia Rashad Carley-Enders...



She's been attending a very fancy exclusive boarding school in London and as soon as she finishes her OWL exams she'll come for a visit.

there. happy?

gretch

I didn't forget, I swear...

I've just been super busy. I haven't forgotten about you, Big Hollywood blog. I love you Big Hollywood blog. I hope you can understand and know that it isn't you, Big Hollywood blog, it's me. I've been a little overextended, a little underinspired. But that's my own shit, Big Hollywood blog. I shouldn't let it affect our relationship. Understand there's no other blog in my life...for reals.

For reals, Big Hollywood blog.

lovingyouiseasycuzyou'rebeautiful,
gretch

34x34

That is my waist and inseam size. When I turned 34 a friend asked how old I was and I said, "34. Same as my inseam."

I have no idea what my glove size is. I have no idea what store to go to get a reliable glove size. I also have no idea what my hat size is and I'm bald and I should know as I look at four hats that are hanging in my closet.

I think I'm a 42Extra Long in a dress suit, but I have no idea what size I am in a naru (sp?) suit. I wonder if MensWearhouse measures for that.

For years I thought I was a 16 1/2, 36 dress shirt. I could not have been more wrong after getting measured I discovered I'm actually 16 1/2, 37!

What a difference an inch makes.

Oh yeah, that 16 year old girl that was trying to sail around the world was found safe. Thank goodness. I have no idea what size life preserver I would wear. I'm guessing an XL? I wouldn't even fit in a doughnut shaped Life Preserver, unless they came in different sizes.

Generally though, when it comes to t-shirts and stuff like that I just take an XL. Sweat pants, XL, sweaters, XL, jackets, XL, etc.

Man, I haven't worn a medium in let's say a long, long time.

I may stop off at the thrift store (read Goodwill) as I might be able to pick up a bargain shirt for $1.5o or so.

Now, I'm not going to buy underwear or socks at Goodwill or shoes, but I'll buy shirts and pants, but no athletic stuff, for some reason that skeeves me out.

Well, that's all for this time. I was going to write about Benny Hill doing a spoof of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf but I decided against it, but you'd have loved it. Benny doing Elizabeth Taylor AND Richard Burton! I thought of that because Liz is on the cove of Vanity Fair...

and she looks amazing!

Oh yeah one more thing. Man there was a stinky guy sitting next to me on the bus a couple of days ago.

Go Metro!

Kurt

Endocrinology

Doctor: Have you been taking your vitamin D?

Me: I ran out of the stuff you gave me a while back, actually.

Doctor: You know, you get the same thing from UVB rays just sitting in the sun.

Me: Well, I have been making an effort to do a little of that each day.

Doctor: I really don't recommend that, because you'll get skin cancer.

Me: I guess it's going to be something.

Doctor: Yes, but it's the decline you want to avoid.

Me: Lately, I'm hoping for a bus or a train.

Doctor: You know what you really want? Cardiac arrest. It's not a heart attack, it's more of a rhythm problem. Devastating for the people left behind, of course, but for you, it's great.

Me: Uh, okay. Thanks?


Jenny