One, seven, oh nine.

I am diligently working on my afore-mentioned resolutions, and while it's only been a week, I'm happy to report that I'm not as filled with resolution-related despair as I was a scant year ago. Much of my angst has to do with writing - yes, even the act of posting to this blog is fraught with anxiety - and so I've made a couple of appointments with people to meet and write. Not meet and read what you wrote during the intervening days. That way lies disaster. No, this is just about being accountable and getting in the groove. So, that's good.

Similarly, I am planning a yard sale with a couple of friends, in the hopes that this time it will really happen. I have a very hard time throwing stuff away, which stems partly from my mother's ability to throw any of my stuff away without a moment's hesitation, and partly from my deservability issues. Namely that I didn't deserve the item/gift/money that was spent in the first place, and to sell/trade/give it away is to claim some kind of right I never had. Also, Mother Earth and the landfills is related to this - how much space should I really get? - but it's all too much to go into. The point is, the Time is Now. Whether the item sits in a drawer or sits in a landfill, it's biodegrading. Better to confront it, move it along if possible to someone who would like it, or just call it garbage and get it to a dump. All those issues can remain, even, they are undisturbed by any of this.

Also, I'm taking a workshop class thing, that I'm mostly scared to take. I've already spent the money however, and since obviously I didn't deserve to spend it on myself (see above) there's no chance I won't go and make sure I get the maximum I can out of it.

That's my January plan, and I'm pretty darn pleased. I've reached out to two volunteer organizations and have heard back from one of them, so I will be scheduling some time to donate to that, and I will be implementing a semi-regular yoga session in my livingroom, and soon. Also, I might be getting a dog, but that's not so much a resolution as an involuntary necessity, like breathing. I can't believe I've gone this long without one (or two) but I'm sure I'll fill you (the two-five readers of this blog) in as that progresses.

All hail the new year, the new leaf, the new you! Hip, Hip!

Jenny