The Big Shots of Big Hollywood

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Points of No Return

I’m a little embarrassed by how many frequent flier/buyer/shopper cards I have. I’m totally obsessed with points. Really it’s an obsession with free stuff because points are pretty much intangible. But the truth is I’m like Scrooge McDuck with my points, hording them away and carefully counting and recounting and making charts and tabulating and calculating how many points it would take to earn a free flight/night/rental/gift card/order of garlic knots. I break it down and it’s even worse than I first feared…

Where did it all start? With the airlines of course: United and Alaska and Frontier and Delta. Also, Northwestern, which I’ve never flown. I have the most miles through American, most of which were earned because of major delays and other fuckups which doesn’t really engender one to want to continue accumulating miles through that airline. I see the game you’re playing, American, nice try.

Amtrack…Amtrack, people! Ask yourself how many times you’ve been on a train in the U.S. ever in your life. Right. Can you believe that Amtrack as a frequent rider’s card? I have one.

And then there are the hotels, Kimpton, Starwood and Clarion, none of which ever seem to be exactly where I need them to be when I need a bed away from home.

I accumulate points pretty often at the LAX Parking Spot on Sepulveda because I hate asking people for a ride to the airport.

Ralph’s new Reward Card allows me to combine two of my favorite things…point collecting and coupon redemption. I can’t tell you the joy I experience when I accumulate double points while saving fifty cents with my coupon for a Dannon four-pack. The feeling must be similar to that which keeps heroin addicts returning for another hit.

Okay, I actually use my points at Arclight but so rarely go to the movies that it’s pretty much a wash.

The years I go between buying makeup means that my Sephora and Ulta cards will probably gather a great deal of dust.

I registered online with Mama & Papa’s Pizza where you get a free pizza if you order online seven times. I don’t even like their pizza, but I will force myself to moderately enjoy the free one if we ever get it.

I get points with my Banana Republic, Amazon, Citibank and United Mileage Plus cards and then scold myself for putting money on a credit card for fucking points! POINTS!

I am a member of two internet marketing sites that give members points for completing online surveys and those points can be redeemed for airline miles. Points for miles…they might as well be offering me magic beans in return my opinion on Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum or Farmer’s Insurance.

How many Big Hollywood points do you think I got for this post and do you think I can redeem them for a fajita pita at Chili's?
9252-Point_Hunt

you're only seven hundred and fifty points away from your next reward,

gretchen

1 comment:

T said...

In my life I have logged probably 25,000 miles of travel by train... and I never even KNEW they had a frequent rider program. damn them!

HEY! where do you get your food coupons ??