There Are No Vampires On Santorini

The title of my as yet to be published (and written) book of travel essays is “There Are No Vampires on Santorini and Other Stuff I’ve Picked Up Along the Way.” I have the title, but that’s about it. I had grand plans to fill my journal with lessons learned and insights gathered on my recent trip abroad. No such luck.

One of my favorite magazines, Budget Travel, has great tips every month from readers. Stuff like:
- Take a digital picture of your luggage and keep it on your camera (print out a copy too) in case the airline loses your stuff.
- a great gift to give new travel buddies abroad is a mix CD of your favorite local musicians who may be difficult to find or are unknown overseas.
- Try dental floss for a clothesline. Works great!

Because I’m otherwise travel essay blocked, I decided to come up with some travel tips of my own.

- When at security just take your shoes off. And, yes, the laptop has to come out of the bag. Is that change in your pocket? Come on people!
- The flight is never as long as it feels, and will have to end at some point. Right?
- Use the bathroom whenever one is available, or at least try to. Unless you’re on the Amazing Race in which case just pee your pants because you…are…in…a…RACE! Stupids.
- Clear local variants of glorified moonshine (raki, grappa, etc.) will MESS YOU UP. Just stick with water. Or beer. Or wine. Just nothing clear, unless it’s water. Promise?
- At the very least, learn how to say “hello,” “please” and “thank you” in the language of whichever region you are visiting. And smile. Smile a lot. This will win the appreciation and affection of whomever you are trying to communicate with, and can also lead to free dessert. Or free drinks. And those free drinks will probably be of the moonshine variety. Please see above.

It’s a work in progress. But at least I've already got my title.

Bone Voyajee,

Gretch