Beginning around '00, the growers made a push to rebrand prunes as "dried plums." This didn't really work, since apparently only some of the 1000 or so plum cultivars are even called prunes in the first place; many are already called dried plums. That clears thing up. Thanks, English Language!
In any case, that having failed, ten years later these regular poopers are pressing on. Now the angle is that these delicious, healthful sweet treats are perfect for children (as if children don't poop enough already.) And to make this fact irrefutable, they have individually wrapped each prune. It's a colossal earth FAIL, but every kid loves to undo a slimy, crinkly package 'o prune, so I can see where they're coming from.
I'd like to suggest another plan of attack, leveled on the Activia industry (bifidis regularis, my arse.) Since they are determined to make every woman in the world break down and admit - while patting her tummy just so - that she's a victim of occasional irregularity, how's about you step in and remind folks about nature's most natural, not to mention immediate, fiber-rich remedy? I should not have to think of these things for you.
Just so we're clear, prune juice is disgusting. Prunes are good. Individually wrapped prunes are insulting but still tasty. Activia is stupid.
Jenny
From the Sunsweet testimonials page:
- "I just loooove you're sunsweet prunes.. soo delicious. I went to fat camp last year with a bad attitude and a sweet tooth. Your prunes changed my outlook on eating healthy and now i've lost 29 pounds and now have more confidence in myself all because I love your prunes. Thank you for saving my life, I just praised the lord baby jesus everyday for you and your prunes to lift me up from this life of fatness... and i could not be more thankful!"
--Belle, Beaumont, TX
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