Shampoo

I just got done cleaning the bathroom. I share the bathroom with a friend and as I moved their shampoo in the process of cleaning, I remembered that it was about a year ago that I threw away my last bottle of shampoo. It was a plastic bottle of strawberry shampoo from, yes, the 99 Cent Store. It was not even empty, just three-quarters empty. I had that bottle for about, oh, seven years.

I'm bald.

It wasn't a choice like I still have the right to get an abortion, it was the hand that I was dealt, and I"M FINE WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Geez, you save a lot of time not buying hair care products and rinsing and repeating in the shower. Geez, you save a lot of time not going to the barber or running to the store to buy a new comb.

Years ago, I had a friend stay over at my house (he of a full head of hair) and after showering he asked me if I had a comb. I just looked at him and said, "Look at me, why would I have a comb?" He said, "You don't have a brush, or anything?" "No", I replied, "I'm like Henry Blake from MASH, I comb my hair with a towel." Which reminds me of the time I was rooting through a closet and I saw a shoebox way up on top of a stack of stuff. I had to get a step stool to get to that shoebox. I pulled it down and I opened it to find stuff like a roll of tape, a can of shoe polish, and a brush and a comb. I had to laugh. A roll of tape and a can of shoe polish? That's crazy why did I still have that stuff? No, of course I'm talking about the brush and comb. It was like finding artifacts from an ancient civilization and wondering, "What were these implements possibly used for?"

So, shampoo. It used to take me two-years-and-four-months to go through a store brand bottle of Pert and then I bought the strawberry stuff at the 99 Cent Store, and I realized, "Why do I need to wash my hair? What hair!? This is ridiculous.

When I'm in the shower now I don't even acknowledge the existence of shampoo. That does change when I'm in a hotel. They leave shampoo in the complimentary bottles and I use it. I use a whole mini-bottle everytime I wash my hair in a hotel.

Are you kidding me? I'm bald, AND I'M FINE WITH IT!!!!!!!! I bring that stuff home for my friends... that have hair and don't go to the 99 Cent Store.