thirtysomething

When I was in eighth grade I was obsessed with the show “thirtysomething.” I wasn’t allowed to watch TV that late but I couldn’t help myself, I had to. I’d wedge myself between my bed and the television set, only a few inches away because I had to keep the volume way down low so as not to get in trouble with my parents. The lives of these people seemed so incredibly interesting to me. Their relationships, their careers, their responsibilities; they were everything I wanted to be. I felt stifled and bored as a 13 year-old living in suburban Denver, like I was somehow a thirty-something woman stuck with the life of a little kid. I was ready to take on a career and to find my soulmate with whom I was going to build a home and a family. I was even ready for the arguments over household chores and not having enough “me time.” I was ready, dammit.

Watching the lives of those thirty-somethings, I always told myself I was like the character Melissa. She was a photographer and had crazy hair and wore only one earring. Edgy. I remember making and actually wearing (on more than one occasion) an earring similar to one of hers from the show – a long curly-q photo negative. My stomach aches in embarrassment as I write that. I may have told myself I was Melissa, but I feared that I was really Hope. Boring, prudish, nagging, pure vanilla Hope Steadman. At least that’s how I remember her. But after just pulling up the Wikipedia entry for the show, I see that Hope was kinda cool:

"Hope is a writer and stay-at-home mother who struggles with her desire to be at home with her daughter and her need to work. She sometimes feels like a sellout for becoming a homemaker due to her feminist views. Michael (who is Jewish) and Hope (who is Christian) are also an interfaith couple, a fact which was referenced throughout the series. During the third season of the series, Hope is attracted to environmentalist John Dunaway and contemplates having an affair with him but decides against it."

Oh. My. God. I want to be a writer and, though I don’t have any kids, I’d love to stay at home but I worry I might get bored. I thought Eric was Jewish when we first started dating and I’m making a concerted effort to be more environmentally friendly. Maybe I am Hope. Unfortunately I won’t be able to confirm that as “thirtysomething” isn’t available on DVD nor is it on Hulu.

I desperately want to see it again, even just a couple episodes to see how it’s changed now that I’m an actual thirty-something. I wonder if I would laugh at the thirty-something inside jokes, and nod knowingly at their thirty-something struggles with careers and relationships. But something tells me I’d relate even less to it now. Back then I thought of myself as an adult surrounded by children. Now that I’m technically an adult, I feel like I’m a kid in a sea of grown-ups who know who they are and what they want. I can't even decide what I want for lunch.

When exactly did that switch happen?

Seriously, I’m asking,

gretchen

http://www.televisiontunes.com/thirty_something.html