The Land of Hope and Dreams

Well. I guess I should say something profound, but honestly, I'm not up to it. I, like Gretchen, am worn out. I am happy, yes. In fact, her words do reflect the feelings of this Big Hollywood member, but I don't cry as much. I think I should cry more, but that's a post for a much more serious blog.

But, it is serious, isn't it? It's rather a new feeling for us Democrats, this hopeful something, this giddy whatever. It's unfamiliar, and I'm nervous but excited about it. This is what the conservatives were trying so hard to hold on to. I can see where it would be hard to give up. But you have to share. You do.

My happiness is tempered, however. I am just so saddened by the apparent approval of Prop Hate, the constitutional amendment to define marriage in California as between a man and a woman. This way, if you ask the Mormons (who donated millions,) the world won't collapse. Our moral center (whatever that is) will remain strong. I, personally, have a marshmallow center. I don't believe in any organized religious anything, frankly, and yet I think about things like right and wrong, and good and bad. I daresay I think about these things more than a lot of the people who were giving so much money to the Yes on 8 cause. I'm trying to figure out who it hurts to treat everyone equally. I guess I bought the whole Constitution thing. Call me a cock-eyed optimist. Call me a citizen of these United States of America.

Maybe I'm the wrong person to ask. My husband and I were deeply honored in July to be asked to witness the wedding of two women we love very much, and who love each other very much. We were there. Our signatures are on the marriage certificate which is now framed and hanging on the wall in their house. You can't tell me that didn't happen, or that we didn't sign it, or that they aren't married. They got married when they did, for my husband Mark's sake. They wanted him to be a witness, and he was very ill and in the hospital. So they came to the ICU, after work on the 3rd of July, with a good friend who would officiate. And there amidst the whirring machines on the busy floor, they pledged their troth. It was just eight days before Mark died. Their ceremony was perhaps not ideal, given the hospital situation. But it was lovely. It was meaningful. And it was legally binding. I don't think this proposition undoes that, and it pisses me off that others think it does. It just makes frightened people feel better.

Maybe, given the cancer and the aforementioned death of my husband, I have a different perspective. One that goes like this: we have more important work to do. Now, yes, it's a free country, and you can run and hide, and pretend the world isn't the way the world is. You can imagine that the existence of gay people in serious relationships with one another can somehow diminish your life. But try turning your energies toward more positive pursuits. Use your time and money for good.

How about feeding the hungry? I bet you'd feel pretty good about that. Start a community garden. Involve yourself in your kid's education. Donate clothes to a shelter. Rescue a pound puppy or kitten. Teach people to read. There's just so much to be done. Look around, and fucking get something done. Something positive. Something that Jesus would do.

OK, hopefully happier, funnier things next time. I do have hope, all evidence to the contrary.

Jenny