Aliens Among Us

I was a big fan of the show Third Rock From The Sun – I thought the writing was smart and tender, the performances were great and Kristen Johnston is the only actress I ever remind anyone of so I feel like I’m kind of “in” the show. And it taught me a valuable lesson, that there are most likely aliens living among us and that it will be their behavior, not their enormous heads, independently moving antennae or laser guns, that will give them away.

The guy who’s never flown before.
He waits until he is the very next in line for the metal detector to start putting his stuff in the plastic bins destined for the x-ray machine. He doesn’t make it through the metal detector because his pockets are still full of change. Yeah, dude, that needs to go in the plastic bin. Doesn’t make it through the second time either because didn’t take off his shoes. Seriously, guy? Was it the repeated yelling by the TSA agent “all shoes must go through the x-ray!” or the multiple pictographs of shoes being put into a plastic bins that you didn’t catch? Is this really your first time on an airplane? You are in your thirties, you seem to have grasped the concept of texting on your cell phone, but you’ve never been on a plane before? The reason you are so cavalier with airport security and, even more importantly, with my valuable people-watching time at the gate is because this is your first time flying? Or is the real reason that your mothership dropped you off in Southern Florida, with an iPod and designer jeans and the mission of flying cross-country, without giving you the necessary information to make it through airport security?
Alien.

The woman who's never ordered coffee.
She stares at the menu board, something she could have done while waiting in the twenty person-deep line but instead she waits until she’s in front of the only working register while the line grows and snakes behind her. “What am I going to have?” she actually has the gall to say out loud and people audibly sigh in frustration behind her. Lady, the menu board is the same in every Tullys, in every Starbucks, in every independent mom-and-pop coffee shop across the country. It’s not a complicated unit conversion - a venti is a large; a grande is a medium; a tall, I know it’s counter-intuitive, but a tall is a small, And you, lady, you are an idiot. You’re telling me this is your first time in a coffee shop? This is your first time ever ordering a coffee?
Alien.

Lance Reddick.
Have you seen the way this guy walks? He’s either the coolest man on earth or an alien trying to convince us he’s the coolest man on earth.
Alien

meep morp bleep blop,
gretch