Big Hollywood, LLC's Big Holly Blog

Now is the time. I need to get to a Halloween Superstore. The universe is indeed telling me that my window of opportunity will close unless I get to the nearest Halloween Superstore... and buy an Abraham Lincoln outfit. I don't have to buy the most expensive one in the store, I am sure a costume made of acetate, and able to be stored in a plastic Vons's bag is fine and exactly what I need.

Due to my schedule this year, and other factors, I have had five auditions this year. Four of them have been for commercials. One of those four commercial auditions was a voice-over and although I did get called back, I did not receive the job. The other three auditions have been for commercials where I was expected to be... Abraham Lincoln.

What are you trying to tell me Universe?

I go to these auditions and there are men there in the full Abe Lincoln get-up... the beard, glasses sometimes, long black coat, hat, etc., you get the idea. These guys all look like Abe Lincoln. I don't. I even asked a casting director if he had any advice on what to do in this situation and all he said was, "They're going to hire a guy that looks like Abe Lincoln. You're not going to get the job. Just do the best you can." And I do.

The thing about these auditions is that some of these guys get it wrong. When they say they want Abe Lincoln, they want the Abe on the $5 bill, and that is the Abe costume that I think the universe is telling me to buy. But on occasion you'll see a guy there as Black Hawk War Abe Lincoln. Black Hawk War guy has on a tri-corner hat, a tan, tan for God's sake mid-thigh jacket, and a powder horn over his shoulder, and a flintlock. Dude, was your rail splitter outfit at ye olde cleaners?

A friend of mine suggested that instead of my normal picture I hand the casting director a 5 dollar bill, or a penny taped to my resume.

It's an election year and surely that is why there is an upswing in Abe showing up in commercials, but I still don't know if the universe is telling me something or just messing with me. 'Cause if the universe is messing with me, I shall have my revenge.

I'll get back to you on that, but in the meantime I'm going to check out the Halloween Store before it closes.